Parenting Amid A Pandemic

Apr 8, 2020

Parenting Amid the Pandemic

As if parenting wasn’t enough of a challenge, we now get to navigate tweens, teens, toddlers and everyone in-between, all while social distancing and explaining the very real need for us to take action against a disease.

This is a good time to remember one of Holly Schweitzer Dunn’s top three mantras: Parent emotion drives child emotion.

When parents are mindful of their emotional state they are more prone to recognize the impact they have on their children. The brain hears tone before it hears anything else. When a parent’s tone is off, children become aware of this more than they are aware of the actual words being said. How many times have you sworn to your child you are “not angry” only to hear back from him that he knows you are angry because he can “hear it in your voice?” Our kids know so much more than we give them credit for.

What parents can do:

1. Model self care and self awareness.

2. Model honesty with emotions and accountability to managing those emotions in respectful, healthy ways.

3. Create home environments where honest discussion of the pandemic (in developmentally appropriate ways) takes place.

4. Model how to acknowledge the fear and uncertainty of the quarantine while also acknowledging awareness of good, normal, neutral.

This might look like:

A parent becoming tearful at the dinner table while voicing both sadness and appreciation for the bad germs making people sick and the brave workers who are taking care of everyone.
A parent pausing to take a deep breath while walking outside, mentioning gratitude for healthy lungs and the smell of spring while also acknowledging how strange and eerie it feels to see empty neighborhood streets.
A parent recognizing that their frustration at not-quite-right items in their grocery delivery was driven by a need to feel in control of something- anything!- during this time when so much is unknown and uncertain.

Read more about parenting from the professional wisdom of an article by The Atlantic.

The power of choice in social distancing

Apr 8, 2020

by Michele Minehart, Community Educator

Last week our Governor announced that Ohio would be staying home from all school, play, and non-essential work until at least May 4. Many of our clients came to us with a similar question: How will I survive this for another month?

Therapist Holly Schweitzer Dunn, LISW, suggests we reframe this to view quarantine from an empowerment place rather than experiencing it only as a victim provides freedom and even a sense of autonomy where we once felt powerless. Try on one of these:

Instead of “I have to quarantine” try “I’m staying home to bring safety to myself, to spread safety and to love to the world.”
Instead of “I have no other option” say to yourself, “I choose to follow these guidelines for the good of all.”
Rather than “I am helpless in this” remind yourself that “I have control over how I handle this.”

By viewing your actions as an empowered individual and keeping in view the larger goal – public health and personal safety – we can feel differently about our living conditions with all their restraints. You still might long for a leisurely trip to the mall or wish you could gather with friends for dinner, but shifting from “I can’t” to “I choose not to at this time” keeps you mentally in the driver’s seat.

Discomfort of quiet

Mar 25, 2020

The Discomfort of Quiet

by Holly Schweitzer Dunn, LISW

If this slowed down, adjusted pace is bringing to mind certain existential questions, know that you’re not alone. We’ve been hearing it from clients, family and friends.

“What does this all mean anyway?”

“What lasting impact am I really having on the world?”

“What is my true purpose?”

We encourage you to use this time to reflect on the different parts of you. If you haven’t taken up a regular practice of journaling, now is a great time to use writing and reflection to absorb what is happening in the world and in your own interior life. What do you want for your life? Are you living the life you are meant for? What is holding you back? What is supporting you in your journey?

One of the clients Holly Schweitzer Dunn met with last week was able to name one of the challenges of our collective sequestering. Her willingness to be still and silent, her openness to hear her inner voice, and her strength to acknowledge what was revealed led her to greater clarity. She realized,

“It is in the silence that I can really hear what I still need to work on.”

This is, of course, scary for most people. If you are accustomed to being a busy bee, you might find that all that activity has been a means to numb, distract, and deny pain; now, when the things that keep us busy have stopped, it may feel excruciating. To the extent that you can remain safe and calm while doing so, take a breath, close your eyes, and listen to the voice of truth that you’ve been too busy to hear before now.

Beyond the Couch

Mar 23, 2020

Beyond the proverbial couch

When Landon Dunn meets a client for the first time and welcomes them into his office, he invites them to have a seat on the couch in his office. He then typically cracks a joke about the couch that seems so stereotypical. But to be honest, many clients find comfort in the familiarity of our office and the work that happens within the walls.

For the past week, Mind Body Health Associates has been operating away from that proverbial couch. For the safety of staff and clients we have held appointments virtually, utilizing a HIPPA-compliant platform to conduct video sessions with each of our therapists. As we moved this direction to elevate the priority of social distancing, we were concerned for both the quality and the quantity of the sessions. Would clients feel they could connect with their therapists authentically? Would we see a large number of cancelations? Would those who needed support make a priority of it while at a physical distance from the office?

What we experienced over the past week (the week that feels like a year, for many of us) has been the opposite of our fears. We’ve seen very few cancellations, and have felt the gratitude of our clients for making a safe means of connecting with our practitioners. Even more, where we expected deep anxiety and paralyzing fear, we found clients who were feeling positive, in large part, the interruption has provided the opportunity to feel grateful. Prior to the Coronovrus outbreak, these clients had developed skills and insights using mindfulness. Now, when the rest of the world feels anxious and unsure, these clients feel gratitude for their months or years of practice, as they are now the ones who can provide the wisdom of experience.

For example, one client has been working through traumatic experiences with pretty severe negative behaviors. But now she finds herself offering her coping skills to others by connecting online. By working through the process of healing to health, she has also found her voice and practiced bravery by sharing these skills for managing the effects of stress and trauma on social media.

Each of the MBHA family members has expressed that while this new reality in which we find ourselves has presented numerous challenges and concerns, by and large our practice continues to feel more gratitude for its practitioners, office staff and most of all, clients, who continue to grow and learn to manage each moment as it arises.

The Unexpected Virtue of Anxiety

Mar 20, 2020

by Holly Schweitzer Dunn, LISW

In a time where the whole world feels that nagging sense of worry and concern, we can take wisdom from those who have experience in this area: those with ongoing anxiety. Holly Schweitzer Dunn, LISW, has heard this three times already this week: “Having anxiety has helped me know what to do during all this craziness.”

There is a lot we can learn from people with anxiety. As one client said, “I’ve been preparing my whole life for this.” People who manage their anxiety daily are well-equipped to handle their emotions during this coronavirus unrest. This is important to remember: You’ve got this. We’ve got this.

Here are a few of the good reminders we’ve heard over the last few days:

Pausing to be in the moment makes all the difference. It allows me to remember I am safe in this moment.
It is most helpful to focus on what is within my control. How I act, how I think, what I do with my time- these are controlled by me.
Balancing out fear thoughts is key to feeling balanced and stable.
Challenging my irrational fears by focusing on what I know is true- based on the evidence around me- brings me back into safety.
Thoughts lead to feelings lead to behaviors- when I am in control of my thoughts I am in control of the rest of me.

Our clients with anxiety are showing us the importance of practicing mindfulness consistently. We build the skills of paying attention to thoughts, feelings and sensations when we’re not in moments of panic. Then when bigger threats do arise, the skills to navigate the stress are more accessible to us.

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In Praise of Public Health

Mar 20, 2020

In Praise of Public Health

by Holly Schweitzer Dunn, LISW

As Landon and I walked early this morning the garbage collectors were already out and a police car drove by a few streets down. I had a wave of gratitude wash over me. How fortunate we are to live in a place where we don’t even think about these things under typical circumstances. We know and trust our neighborhoods will be patrolled, our garbage will be picked up, our pets won’t have rabies, our schools will be healthy places to send our children, our restaurants will be clean, our water safe to drink. Our public servants do their jobs every day, rain or shine, behind the scenes so that we can live with little need to worry. My mom, a life-long public servant, summed it up in a conversation we had years ago: “Public health is working best when people don’t even notice it.” Thank you to all who selflessly serve our communities. In times like these it is necessary to come together with gratitude for everyone out there putting their safety on the line for the greater good. Let’s all support them- not make it more difficult- by following their recommendations. They are the experts.