In our line of work, we know that goodbyes can be positive, necessary experiences. Mostly, they’re not permanent, but they do accompany a new ordering of life or a new way of seeing the world. With graduation season upon us, perhaps there are a few takeaways that you can mindfully apply as you watch your little ones and not-so-little-anymore ones walk across the platform and into a new stage.  Let us offer some thoughts on how to end things well, because we know that good things lie on the other side.

1. Feel the moment and all the emotions that arise. You’re likely proud of your young person, scared of what the world will offer him or her, anxious about mistakes they might make (which likely bear resemblance to mistakes you once made), happy to see them excited, and sad that your life is about to significantly change as well as theirs. All of these feelings are valid and expected. Notice any of the ways you attempt to avoid those sensations – perhaps it’s wrapping yourself up in the details of party planning or overindulging in celebrations – and allow yourself to move through the moment.
2. Minimize unnecessary expectations of yourself.  Good stress is still stress, and it adds a physical load to the body, which makes you sensitive to extra stimuli. Don’t feel like you have to attend to every new idea (or even every thought) that enters your mind, and dish off a few of the regular responsibilities that require your energy. With emotions higher than normal, you might be more sensitive to comments, short-tempered to frustrations or even more inclined to cry at commercials. Your body is reading the emotion and connecting to what is happening beneath your own layers of experience – notice it, and then turn your attention onward.
3. Celebrate your accomplishments. You just raised a human being! You have navigated the most challenging and important years in the formation of a person. Parenting is hard work, and though this young person is his or her own self, you’ve put years of blood, sweat, and tears into helping them develop physically, mentally, and emotionally.
4. But don’t quit. Young adults still require guidance as they learn new life skills. Think of yourself as moving from the in-house director to more of a consultant role. Making yourself available to answer questions in a non-judgmental way, and offering support (without saving the day) will go a long way in developing your relationship as two adults.
5. Enjoy the freedom for next steps. No matter if your child is graduating kindergarten or college, your lifestyle will change. Maybe you have more time to give to your own skills or passions, or maybe with the lack of tuition payments, you can take a long awaited trip. Raising a child might be one of the most significant works of your lifetime, but it won’t be your last. Begin thinking about your next contribution and enjoy the process of creating and unleashing using a different medium.