Conversations about sexuality cannot be complete until we talk about the culture in which we have these discussions. Often the root of unhealthy sexual behavior stems from a view of other people as objects. Yet it’s challenging to see these beliefs and behaviors when as a culture, through the media or systems of power, we view women in a particular way.

A few months ago, the conversation around #metoo helped to rebalance the view of how sex (and power) is experienced in our society. Talking about moments of unwanted sexual attention brought our attention to the objectifying habits entrenched in our society. It was shocking to many people that what we, as a society, understood as “normal” was actually unhealthy and even harmful.

Even before he was the only male in our practice, Landon Dunn, LSW, LIDCD, had his own awakening to the societal influences of how men view women. Landon moved “from bubble to bubble” in his ventures from a Findlay childhood to Oxford, Ohio for college, but in his time in Los Angeles at grad school, the west coast gender-neutral language was a contrast to his midwestern upbringing.

These experiences made him reconsider the effects of social constructs that made it okay to talk about or to women in particular ways.  Landon became aware of the differences between looking at someone or maintaining eye contact with her. He learned to ask questions with an eagerness to learn. By seeing each individual as a person with something to offer the conversation, he can refrain from truncating or wanting only to be heard. These habits may seem commonsense to some, but part of the #metoo conversation reveals that for many women, this has not been the experience. Landon’s individual actions, joined with those living with intentional awareness around areas of gender equality, are shifting the collective experience.

Evaluating the social conversations around sexuality, along with our personal understanding of sexuality – both our own sexuality and the sexual being of another person – leads us to becoming better humans, in our thoughts and in our interactions.